Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
