Do you still have your period?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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