Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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