YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
