I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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