did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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