# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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