i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
