dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
