worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
