Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
