I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
