Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
