is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
