i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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