i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
