so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i out mim tonsoeep
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
