I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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