I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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