yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize