Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
