So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
