Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
