So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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