eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
