And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
