4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
