K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
