i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
