Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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