Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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