Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
