I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize