She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
