Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize