So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
