No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
