like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize