I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize