a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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