Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
