Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
