it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just pee around me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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