a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
