Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
