i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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