I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
either way he was missing a nipple.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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