I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize