i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize