i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
