I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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