at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
