I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
