well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
