4 words: hood of his car
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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