That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
