What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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