i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
