Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
